Well….

This is the beginning….But it is also the end….

I just finished my fifth year exams yesterday. And I thought I would be happy. I thought I would be jumping for joy that the menace was finally over. But I am not.

I have never had a worse exam than I did yesterday. Its unbelievable. I am numb from the shock. I just cant feel anything. I think if i do allow myself to feel anything, its all going to come crashing down on me. I dont wana talk about the OSCE. I dont even wana hear about it. This is something unbelievable. I am not used to doing badly in exams.

I have never felt this emptiness inside me. I dont feel happy on seeing my loved ones as I normally do. I got Robin Cook’s Coma out from the library to read it….something that i have wanted to do for ages. But I just cant focus on it. I want to plan for the future, but I cant even think about tomorrow. Even shopping didnt cheer me up. Nor did two scoops of Caffe Mocha icecream at Movenpick. TWO scoops!!

I am not supposed to feel this bad. Surely I cant have done that badly in the OSCE. But I think I have. And its not just me. Everyone. Vidya, Michael, Henry. That fact, strangely enough, gives me some comfort. Maybe the examiners will realise they were too hard on us.

Maybe. And on top of everything else, neuro lady had equivocal plantars!!! Story of my bloody life!