Not too long ago, we celebrated (in a manner of speaking) Jack’s 6 months with us. And I realised that I always keep thinking of posting the various antics that he gets up to, but somehow or the other, when I actually sit down to write something, I forget about it. So today, let me introduce you guys to the various personalities that make up Jack.

Tech Support. His all time favourite activity is to sit in the MOTH’s lap when he is working on the computer. He just sits there and watches what the MOTH is doing. Watches the screen. Sees him typing on the keyboard. The best part is when the MOTH stops typing for a while. Coz then, Jack takes it upon himself to carry on the task of typing, no matter what. So he helpfully extends a paw, and presses a few buttons. And then looks up sweetly at the MOTH as if to say, “There. The problem is fixed, so carry on.” Couple of times, he has managed to hit the crucial delete key, with quite hilarious responses from the MOTH!

Animal Tester. No decent, hard-working cat would ever allow anything new to come into the house before making sure it is fit for human use first. And Jack here is no different. Anything new that we bring into the house gets thoroughly investigated by him.
New shoes for the MOTH? Jack had to try them on himself first before giving the MOTH the go-ahead.

Security Personnel. The same principle applies to any new person who comes into the house. The other day, we had a guy come over to fix the front door that wasnt locking properly. And the whole time he was doing it, Jack sat right there, keeping a watchful eye on him. He checked out every tool in the handyman’s toolbag, sniffed every screw that he had in his jar, he was more thorough than airport security! In this aspect, Jack has a bit of an identity crisis, he definitely thinks he is a dog!

I mean business, Mister!

Cat-Man-Do God help you if he is hungry. See this video, and you will know exactly what I mean!

Cats are not fully grown adults until they are a year old, so he is technically still a baby. And he is Oh! So cute. At the risk of sounding like a potential cat-loving spinster (minus the spinster bit, of course), who needs babies when you have such cute kittens!

Tonight, she is probably sleeping peacefully in her bed. Tomorrow, when she comes into work, her world will be turned upside down. She will find out that she has caused someone to die. Her blood will run cold. Sleep, and peace, will evaporate into thin air.

Everybody kills someone. Eventually. Or so they tell me. It sounds so ghastly. So cold. So matter-of-fact. When they first told me that, it was over a glass of beer. In a bar. After work. It didnt sound so bad then. Compared to the hundreds whose lives you save, a few deaths are to be expected, is what I thought then.

But not tonight. Tonight, the cost of that one life that is slowly slipping away is just too great. It was an innocent mistake on her part. Anybody could have made it. Perhaps it wasnt innocent. Perhaps it was a careless mistake. I dont know. But here I am, at 2 AM, dealing with the aftermath of the mistake. Telling the patient’s daughter that her mother has hours left to live. And there is nothing we are going to do about it. Its the kind thing to do, I tell the daughter. And I find myself choosing my words carefully to try and hide (?) the mistake that has been made. I like to think it is because I want to spare the daughter the trauma of knowing that her mother’s death was avoidable.

I feel filthy. Contaminated. Tonight, I would be anything else in the world, but I dont want to be a doctor. I have now seen the dark side of this life. And it is not pretty. We are Gods, we tell ourselves. We save lives. And when we waste a life, we are too proud to admit it. Going so far as to lie in order to not admit the collective guilt.

I am ashamed of what I have said to the daughter. Yet I know that any other doctor in my position would have said the exact same thing. And that makes me more ashamed than anything else.