So this is a very funny incident. And at the same time, its quite ironical, as anyone who knows me well will tell. But to properly understand the irony, one has to start at the beginning. So bear with me, but it will be well worth it, most of you will think this is absolutely hilarious!

It all started with me going to help Altrusa (a women’s service club) in their fundraising efforts. They were doing a sausage sizzle, and I offered to help. The MOTH came to drop me there, and Trish, one of the ladies there, mentioned how Altrusa was having a Cook Of The Year competition in a few weeks time. And I jokingly referred to the fact that at our place, the MOTH is the cook of the year, coz he is the one who cooks all year around! So Trish encouraged the MOTH to participate in it, Its all in good fun, she said. The MOTH hmmed and haaed, and went on his merry way.

Now this part is pure conjecture on my part, but I am fairly certain it happened. At some stage, somewhere along the line when my back was turned, the MOTH and his mother-in-law (i.e. my mother) held whispered conversations behind closed doors, and came up with a plan of attack. And what a plan it was! I didnt know what hit me, and didnt even realise it was hitting me at that time. But one fine day, they launched a carefully rehearsed attack, and before I knew it, I was agreeing to take part in the cook of the year competition!!!??!?

What the hell??? How did that happen? No clue. And the moment I fell into the trap and agreed to do it, my mum had a recipe all ready, and the MOTH was all completely in agreement with the plan for me to cook it, and my mum just conveniently happened to have free time to show me how to make the recipe, and the MOTH lovingly offered to be the quality control branch of the whole enterprise. I was beginning to smell a rat by this stage, but it was too late now.

So D-Day rolls around. I am in vampire mode, doing night shifts at the hospital, and sleeping during the day. So I sleepily drag myself to mum’s house, and half-heartedly make the suji halwa (semolina pudding) that I had been talked into. My plan was to make it so that it was palatable, and nothing more. So I made it, with mum providing helpful hints every so often. And then picked up the MOTH and went to the competition that was being held at the house of an Altrusa member. Once we got there, I handed the bowl of halwa to the judges, and then promptly forgot all about it, and proceeded to enjoy the evening socialising with the other people there, some of whom I hadnt seen in a while.

Fast forward to the end of the evening. They are getting ready to announce the winners. The chief judge (yes, there was more than one!) was not some senior Altrusan as I had imagined. No. Out trotted this fancy chef from Germany, of all places. Announces the minor prizes. Gives me a certificate for the best garnishing. Fair enough, I thought. I had taken a lot of trouble to color-coordinate the garnishing. But I nearly fainted when he announced that the cook of the year was….you guessed it….yours truly!!!

What the hell!! I dont cook. I hate it. I was sure they made a mistake. But much to my dismay, they hadnt. And then I turn around to look at the MOTH, and there he was, smiling, looking like the cat who got the cream. His plan had paid off! And now I am going to pay for this for the rest of my life. For no way is the MOTH going to give up an opportunity to have dinner cooked by the cook of the year. Every damn day of the year. And he even has the bloody trophy to remind me of it, in case I should ever have a memory lapse! Goddammnit!!